Does the purse we carry = How much baggage we have in our lives?

What size do you carry?

I go back and forth between the huge duffle like bag to a very small wallet on a string~

Sometimes I feel I need to be prepared carry everything one might need, I think I do this cause I grew up watching let's make a deal~ remember Monty Hall would give anyone who had..... let's say a safety pin or a band aid, a hundred dollars.........I always wanted to g on that show :) lol

But other times only the essentials, phone, keys, money & credit cards~

So does this mean, when I carry the bigger bag I want to carry all of my stuff with me? All the hurt, the guilt?

Does the purse we carry say who we are?

sick!

I'm sick! I haven't been sick in years, it's just a cold but still~ It's a good day to stay home and do nothing but rest and catch up little projects~ So I got the laundry ,a crochet project done....now for a nap :)

Lauren is off to Nor Cal for softball, I do feel bad not going, but we just couldn't afford it (this time) I will be going to Oregon in a little over a week, I can't wait to see her....

Other then that, nothing more, a little drama with my brother this morning, too much to get into.. But I am not letting me get me down or upset.....

Sorry that's it for now, gotta get some rest!

i see blue skies~

I do, I really do~ you see for the past 3 maybe 4 days we have been hit with this storm, at first no snow just gloomy days but Sunday night, it all started.... and yesterday I don't think it stopped until late last night~ So after all that and a warm pot of minestrone soup we made it to Tuesday & BLUE SKIES!

Yesterday was a exciting day here, Fed Ex delivered my IPHONE yeh

So here is what I think so far, I think I love it~ the jury is still out, cause well I was at home all day and we have wifi so I was connected that way, it was just like my Itouch ( can you tell I am a MAC girl & I don't mean the makeup) I downloaded all my apps & ICal but no music, books or movies yet, I want to figure out what I want~ Today will be the test, I will be at work most of the day and we do not have internet, wifi there~ I will let you know~

I leave in 2 weeks for my big adventure! I am getting excited, can't wait to see the kid, get out of the cold & see some softball, hopefully good softball but softball none the less~ It will be almost 2 months ahead of what they play here in Montana~ So hopefully good roads & weather will be in my future~

Well I better get going, get ready for work~ Take care & blessings to all who read this~

what are you supposed to do?

What are you supposed to do...... when the man your supposed to spend the rest of your life with is just so angry and negative?

Last night he told me he isn't going to try, try to please me, try to be there for me,nothing~ ]sigh[

I know, he hates his job, and I am sorry for that.... I am sorry he has to punch a time clock, work for a person that disrespects him, but IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I sometimes feel guilty, cause I work 1 or 2 days a week doing the wax thing, and 2 days (a few hours) at the Hallmark thing.... But I pay my share of our bills, my kids college, plus extra cash for her, my stuff, groceries and alot of everyday expenses..... I don't eat lunch out every day~

I don't want to make excuses up for him, I have done that all my life when people mistreat me or are mean to me.....or I take the blame, "it's my fault" or he is like this because of me..... BUT NOT THIS TIME!

Sometimes he can be the greatest guy, but it seems that "those" times are getting farther and farther between~

SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

sorry

SORRY I missed yesterday, but I have a good excuse..... aaaaaa the dog ate it, no um it fell in the....no that's not going to work..... YES That's it! I had to go to work yesterday...you see I am now the partime/ oncall merchandiser for Hallmark! YEH! I know it sounds kinds no big deal, but it is...1. It works my schedule, so I can keep my biz going 2. I can still go see my kid in Portland and lastly I get free cards!!!! WOOHOO! you see even though I am here writing to you all (noone :) I still like to send out those old fashioned cards, birthday, anniversary, and just because cards.... So this is a great job for me..... I am an early riser anyways so why not?

So what else is going on?........... nothing , nothing at all~ I have been sewing a few Valentine projects up~ I should sew the St Paddy's & Easter things too but well I need a bit more fabric~ So I think it need to go into town and pick up a few suplies~ Seems like I am always going into town for something:)

I did give my notice in at my salon, so I will be moving out at the end of this month~ It's kinda sad, but it's time to to move on~ But here is the bad part, where I'm supposed to move into, I haven't heard from the gal..... we shook hands and agreed on terms, but she was supposed to write it up and send it to me...well guess what nothing, nada....... I have called her several times, only to leave messages, now I know people are busier then me, but cmon! So I really don't like the feel I am getting from this~ I do sorta have 2 back up plans, 1 a friend of min offered a space in here office, that might be doable, and the other well let's say there is another option :) The other thing is that I would like to get a few things, rug, new comforter, mirror, chachkeys.... for the new place, but I have no idea of the color scheme I need to work with, the size, nothing....... this is so not me, I am very organized, and plan ahead~ SO THIS IS HARD FOR ME!

WOW

WOW! That's al I can say, I am in shock, disappointed disappointed and very upset~ I just found out via Facebook that my Brother and his family and MY GRAMPA are moving~ Granted it's in the same city, but cmon , I just spoke with him last night and nothing, not a word~ I don't know what I have ever done to deserve the way they treat me~

OK here's another resolution, Come to terms that I don't have a brother!!!

What a way to start your day~

On the brighter side of things.... the sun is out :) it's supposed to warm up today close to 40~ That's a good thing, cause I don't know what I would do if it was a cold blustery day~

So what is on tap for today? You ask~ Well I have a few appointments later this morning, I have a break for 2 -4:30ish finish laundry and work on this new knitting technique I learned last night (well sort learned:) It's called Newsprint Cowl by Haven Leavitt

here is the link if your interested http://havenandliz.blogspot.com/2011/01/newsprint-cowl.html it's brioche knitting, pretty cool once it's done....but it take a while to get your head around.....can't wait to see how it turns out:)

I think this will be it for now a lot has gone on this morning~ I think I need time to marinate ~

A Blah Snowy Day

I woke to more white crap (snow) on the ground today:( Can you tell I'm abit over it? WELL I AM! I so want to move but, the daunting task to start all over..... I don't think I am up for it~ But with alot of prayer the answer will come to me:)

NO I'm not one of those people that prays for answers, or is very religious... I have faith, I believe in God...... but the whole Devil, Hell and even Heaven thing, well I'm not that sure about~

I lost my Dad about 9 months ago and my Mom about 13 years 4 months~ and my Grampa too, not to death, but after my Pop died I have no real way of making sure he is ok.... You see he lives with my Brother and his family. They don't have a house phone ( so I can't talk with Grampa ) I write letters but he only gets a few select if he gets them at all (darn post office; YEH RITE) you see my sister in law and I do not get along, she has told me point blank that she thinks I am spoiled by my Grampa and Dad, cause you see when we (my daughter and I) would go down to visit, Gramps and Pop would drop what they were doing to spend time with us......now to me that's not spoiled...we only saw them maybe 2 to 3 times a year~ but whatever~ I know I'm at her mercy, but I have tried to play the nice game but she is just so mean.... so cruel~ When my Pop was int he hospital, she kept it from me. She likes to be in control, she can control my Brother and Grampa too, but NOT ME, and I think she hates that!

Sorry for dumping this, but these kind of days make me think of them, how much I miss them & wish they were here or at least a phone call away~

That is all for now promise to get my self out of this BLAH ~

RRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

OK so my guinea pig adventure wasn't so bad...wash your hands, they take samples, wash your hands some more take more samples~ this went on for 40 minutes or so... and I get $5o bucks! Not bad considering I would be sitting at home doing nothing~

But the day that was going to be short ended up being all day in town, then my loving husband comes home early and say he has to go the dr's..... and I have to go with him....WHY? is he 10? NO! but I go anyways, wait in the waiting room (God I hope I don't get sick!) And as soon as we walk in the door he ask the infamous questions all husbands ask "what's for dinner?" I tell him.... and what do I get? "o don't worry about it" or "that sounds good" NO I GET I DON"T LIKE THAT!!!!! I could have strangled him, or at least hit him over the head with skillet~ but no, I carry on ~ like a stupid head!

Monday, Monday~

I woke before my alarm this morning, a whole hour..... why can't I sleep in like everyone else? I really don't need an alarm because I am up around 6 or so every morning, no matter what time I go to bed~ But set my alarm, for those just in case mornings that I do sleep in (lol)

It's a pretty cold morning 16 above (which is a good thing, cause we have had negative temps:() but instead of hibernating in my cozy, warm home..... I have to go into town and become a human guinea pig~ yep this is what I do, for extra $$ and to get out of the house... Today's testing is my finger pads ~ I have never done this before, so I will let you know how it came out~

I am off into the frigid cold day~~

Who am I? What am I suppose to do now?

OK it's January 23rd, and well I have taken the last 22 days of 2011 to try and figure who I am, and what I am supposed to do with my life, now that my 1 and only child has left for college and living her own life~

Here is what I have figured out.....

1- I want to write, a book, a blog anything...I just want to write!

2- I have a lot of good ideas, but I just don't know how to start them
3- I have a Debbie Downer in my life :{ this is the part that scares me, he supposed to be on my
side, encourage & support me, instead he squashes any idea that I come up with, or worst
he talks me out of them ( I know this one is on me, but I am trying to be better:)
4- I think I want to move, but I am scared~ Scared of starting over, being alone, but most of all
starting over~
5- MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! I don't have many of these people in my life but a few, I can't get rid of
them, but I DO limit my time with them

The other thing that bothers me is that I raised my daughter to be a good, honest person. A person of character, but it seems she is always getting the short end of the stick.... I wish everyone would say what they mean and mean what they say! is that to much to ask for? If it is.......... we live in a really sad place.........